When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut itself.
How do emos compliment each other?
They say, "I like your cuts g."
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
The "W" in Africa stands for water.
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
