Dark Humor
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
This is bullshit! Stop showing cheesy and dumb jokes! This website is for dark humor, insults, and morbid content! All of you who don’t talk about the following, go die!
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
What constellation has no hair at all?
Cancer.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.