Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
Dark Humor
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
