Danger

Danger jokes

Plane

    • Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

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    • Baby

    • What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?

    They both make noise when you throw them.

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    • Danger memes

    Child Molester

    • A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

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    • Friend

    • My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

    Me: Yea-

    My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

    Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

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    • Hamster

    • What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

    Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

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    • Grenade launcher

    • Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

    Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

    Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

    Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

    Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

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    • Glock

    • When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.

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    • Bomb

    • I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."

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