I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.
Daily Life Jokes
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
Who doesn't know it? 😂
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
When I walk to school, I fart.
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.
Good Morning Everyone, have a good and positive day!
I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a grocery store.
Never mind.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
