Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
Dad Jokes
I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Dad: Hey, have you seen that new movie, "Constipation"?
Son: No.
Dad: It hasn't come out yet.
POV: Orphans rule the world.
God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.
The orphan: Waaaaaa!
A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"
Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."
Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.
What did Little Johnny say to his dad?
Johnny: "Dad, please not again! I'm too young!"
"9/11 was not funny; it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah."
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.
Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"
At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."
Son, what is 1 plus 1?
Dad, I don't know.
Son, it is 2.
Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.
I would tell a joke, but I’m sad my dad died in 9/11. He’s the greatest pilot that went down with the Twin Towers.
My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?
Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.
I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
Dad fucked Mom.
Mom fucked son.
Son fucked sister.
Sister fucked dog.
Dog fucked cat.
Cat fucked bird.
Bird fucked fish.
Fish fucked Dad.
Dad really liked it!
If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."
Where is my dad?
