Dad jokes

Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.

I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.

My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.

I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)

My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby

And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)

Why can orphans not get married?

They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!

Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?

One can feed a family.

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.

Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.

Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!

Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??