Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake but it ended up fulfilling the 5 year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick, she said shut the fuck up and keep digging
Q: what’s worst fingerbanging your sister? A: finding your dads wedding ring
God my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years
I told him my dad never came back with it
Little Johnny was alone because dad didn’t come back
Whats the difference between a dad and an Emo? they both dont last awhile
I saw a news ad on tv about a dad coming home after getting milk i said "ive never seen that one before"
What's moby dick's dads name( Papa Boner)
The police: poleover The kid: do you know who my dad is Th police: what you mom did not tell you
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said,"Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?". After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
Knock knock.
Whose there
Not your dad
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when blueface baby drops a new album
A dad and son walks into a strip club the people in the strip club said he was to young to be in hear so they had to leave 10 years later they went back there. They saw a small dancer the father walked over there and said the woman looked to small to be in hear her reply was...?
Son: Dad what's a morbid joke? Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him then you will know. Son: But Dad I don't have arms or legs. Father: Now you know.
I went to ask my friends mom if I could have a sleepover Then I rememberd they did not have a mom or dad
1st daughter: Dad I;m lesbian! Dad: oh OK! 2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian Dad: WTF does any 1 in this family love d!cks?!? Son: I do...
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? Atleast my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
Dad:Are you Gay? Kid:Yes. 10 days later. Kid:I’m going to my girlfriends house. Dad: I thought you were gay.? Kid:What’s wrong with you he’s the girly girl of our relationship dumba—Dad:Don’t swear and okay bud
