The 100+ Best Omg Jokes

me: i'm going to steal your heart

her: omg thats so romantic!!

me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.

my sister reminds me of 911 one moan of OMG got everyone's attention.

Guys look at the comments omg

I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating and I was like OMg.

a redhead tells her blonde hair stepsister. i slept with a puerto rican'... then the blonde replies. omg you dirty little slut! how many is a puerto rican?

Let girls live is 9 years old omg right??😔😊😊😊

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1:God,I can only imagine what was going through those kids heads in the last moments of their lives... Person 2:Probably Bullets Person 1:OMG!!Can you even think of what their parents are going through?! Person 2:Probably Coffin Brochures Person 1:.... Person 2:Its called dark humor.Dark humor is like food,not everyone gets it.

person 1- I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date. person 2- OMg

ME: i hit a orphan! MOM: OMG WHY? ME:not like they can tell there parents-

So I stayed at my friends house for a few days and I was like omg why so I am going home because I’m going to my best friend house

so one day a boy was at his dads work when another little boy ran in crying then the dad said aw little boy are you lost wheres your parents and the little boy at his dads work said OMG! dad you cant say that! why cant he say that?

Answer: He works at an Orphanage.

Teenager: OMG, I’m prego, my moms gonna kill me Baby: Lmao, same

Son:DAD DAD OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!

Dad:WHATS WRONG ARE YOU OK?!

SOn:MIA ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE ON FEBRUARY 30th

Dad:Cas theres no february 30th?

me: *gets down on one knee*

girlfriend: omg, it's finally happening

me: *falls over*

girlfriend: the poison is kicking in

me: *stabs vampire*

wife: omg

me: *beats vampire to death*

wife: OMG

me: what

wife: ur supposed to give them candy

me: well thats a sticky situation now isnt it barbara

Mom: I'm getting you a dog!

Me: OMG REALLY?!

Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?

Me: ...

Me: Bitch please.

When a asteroid is coming to kill us all: 98.9% of the population: OMG WERE ALL GONNA DIE 1% of the population: eh.. I neber had any friends anyway. Alia: ROLL THE INTRO

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply "Nothing, nothing! we're just uh, making cake" and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells "Get out! were making cake!" So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!" and she replies "OMG! Howd you know!?!?" and Johnny replies "Because, I licked the icing off the couch" ayyyyyy.