A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.
Teenager: OMG, I’m prego, my moms gonna kill me Baby: Lmao, same
Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply "Nothing, nothing! we're just uh, making cake" and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells "Get out! were making cake!" So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!" and she replies "OMG! Howd you know!?!?" and Johnny replies "Because, I licked the icing off the couch" ayyyyyy.
me: brings in missing child police: omg this kid has been missing for 3 months. here is your reward me: oh, cool
NEXT DAY
me: brings in 8 other kids
police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: i'm going to steal your heart
her: omg thats so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1:God,I can only imagine what was going through those kids heads in the last moments of their lives... Person 2:Probably Bullets Person 1:OMG!!Can you even think of what their parents are going through?! Person 2:Probably Coffin Brochures Person 1:.... Person 2:Its called dark humor.Dark humor is like food,not everyone gets it.
Son:DAD DAD OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!
Dad:WHATS WRONG ARE YOU OK?!
SOn:MIA ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE ON FEBRUARY 30th
Dad:Cas theres no february 30th?
me: *stabs vampire*
wife: omg
me: *beats vampire to death*
wife: OMG
me: what
wife: ur supposed to give them candy
me: well thats a sticky situation now isnt it barbara
me: *gets down on one knee*
girlfriend: omg, it's finally happening
me: *falls over*
girlfriend: the poison is kicking in
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me: ...
Me: Bitch please.
When a asteroid is coming to kill us all: 98.9% of the population: OMG WERE ALL GONNA DIE 1% of the population: eh.. I neber had any friends anyway. Alia: ROLL THE INTRO
my sister reminds me of 911 one moan of OMG got everyone's attention.
one time i was watching tv mom: omg your dad is coming! me:omg really mom: sike i lied
My crush: OMG my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness I am so sorry I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well I have a dog
Teacher: we are going to Seville Girls: Omg it's such a beautiful city I cant wait to explore Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh Omg thanks for 1000 likes
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating and I was like OMg.
Guys look at the comments omg
Girls: OMG wat color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue
a redhead tells her blonde hair stepsister. i slept with a puerto rican'... then the blonde replies. omg you dirty little slut! how many is a puerto rican?
Girls Dreams - OMG my crush kissed me Boys dreams - I just got a dub bro
