everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
Dad: here u go son all ur toys have gone to the orphanage Son: why dad Dad:you would be bored there if there was not anything to do
When youre watching gnomeo and juliet 2 and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt
How I Punch my Brother:Wooden Sword How he is it telling Dad:Diomand Sword How hard my Dad is gonna punch me:Warden Punch
How do you know if your sisters on her period?
Your dads dick tastes funny.
What’s worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dads wedding ring inside her.
why did my dad cross the road.
to get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on american soil
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
Your dad went to get the milk but there he was actually trying to find his father.............he wasn't there
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie. Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest. Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout! If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber. Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in. I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram? If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple. If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion.
I saw an orphan on the street i said where’s your parents he cried and said my mum and dad died in a car crash 😆😆😂😂🤣
Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.
What is a kids favorite thing to do with their dad? Play pretend dog in the bed.
A young boy asked his Dad was it true that we come from a Stork?... Dad said.. it is Son.. Son says.. who fucks a Stork ?.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV His daughter comes in and says "dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! Its because when you were born a rose peddle fell on your head." "Cool" Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said "dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied,"Oh! its because when you were a baby, a daisy peddle fell on your head." "Awesome" Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"
Never talk about 9/11 to me i lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
my teacher asked me what my favirote number was yesterday and i said 2977, i chose 91 for my football jersey number and sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher mr jacksons dad died in 9/11 and when he was talking about it friday the 9th i threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting monday
I hope you have to dip your Oreo’s in water because your dad never came back with the milk
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk
I see a kid crying in the park right. So I go up to him and say " hey where are your parants" and he says "well my dad left to get the milk and never came back and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda triangle
One day this kid says to his dad."Dad they bully at school.''His dad asks why.And the kid says''They bully me because I got no hands.''Then his dad says.''who would do such a thing like that,I want to know who they are point at them.''
