Back
Dad

Dad jokes

Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.

The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.

The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.

In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.

That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please don't.

Dad: Exactly.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.