Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
Yo dad is like a boomerang;he never comes back.
my dad was in 9/11 thats rude and he was a great pilot
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
My mom loves balls.
But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.
just ask your dad
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.
Ur dad oh wait you don’t have that
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.
That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬
I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
