Cut jokes
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"
HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
John, I like your cut, G.
I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."