How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd? It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.
Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."
Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"
Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
Why was the emo kicked out of the Carnival, Because he was cutting in line.
why did Stephen hawking die? Because there was a power cut
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
I wish my grass was edgy... then it would cut itself...
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts g"
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
