Cut

Cut Jokes

Emo kid

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

People

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

Sole

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?

It took my sole.

Test

Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.

Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."

Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"

Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."

Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."

Emo

Why was the emo kicked out of the Carnival? Because he was cutting in line.

Haircut

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

Polar Bear

How do you catch a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

Peter Pan

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

Day

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

Worm

What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!

Cock

I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.

Girl

What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?

Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

Grass

Why is emo grass better than normal grass?

Emo grass is gonna cut themself.

Fruit Ninja

I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!

Emo kid

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.