Cut jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Guys, I guess with all these storms there was a power cut in his house.
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.