How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
Cut Jokes
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Guys, I guess with all these storms there was a power cut in his house.
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
