Cut jokes
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.