Culture jokes

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."

What's a Mexican's favorite video game?

Borderlands.

Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.

An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, "You look like a million pounds!" The wife divorced him.

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...

She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.

Have you ever tried North Korean food?

Neither have the North Koreans.

How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?

Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."

Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.

What do you call a Russian tree?

Dimitree.

What do you call a Mexican Baptism?

Bean Dip.

I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.

Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.

Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.

American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."

One man's pet is another man's dinner.

How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.

The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.

The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.

And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.