Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Why don't the Amish water ski?
The horses would drown.
What is the hardest part of twerking?
Being black.
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
