Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
What is a pedophiles favorite piano note?
A Minor
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 dollars in back taxes
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
