Crime jokes
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I got the joke from my brother.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?
The Joker.
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?
RCXD in bound
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?
"Did I leave the stove on?"
What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear?
White Vans!
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.