Crime jokes
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?
The Joker.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
Memes
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.