Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
Crime Jokes
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.
Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"
"My penis."
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
