Crime jokes
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men. That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
I hate these double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
Miksi Michael lähti limusiinistä ulos?
Hän näki alastoman pojan.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂