Crime jokes
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
To be wanted.
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
Biden: My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, "That's a pretty big word for a 9-year-old!"
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
What touches kids and is made out of plastic?
Michael Jackson, hee hee!
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.