A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school and the teacher replies "are you that same person who took Jimmy?" the man replies "yes" and the teacher says "Take susie too she's being a little bitch."
what did pepper say to spray hey spray im pepper and i think we should fight crime!!!!!
i stepped on a cornflake, they acused me of a serial killer?
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene? He didnt have the guts to see it.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."
My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
what did the pedophile say to the kid. "roses are red ,my name is dan ,i have a gun get in the van"
There was a kidnapping at school.
Don't worry, he woke up.
There is a Mexican sitting on a train. The guy sitting next to him says I have a big dick. The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
