Lil Johnny looked a lil bonny, but then when he saw Tommy, he decided to bomb me.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing.
A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking!
Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
Robyn Olive in 10.
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?
The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?
White Vans.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
