Crime jokes
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
Statistics show 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
Jeffery Epstein killed Hitler.
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀