Crash jokes

How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.

Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.

Passengers: *Clap*

Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.

Flight Attendant: And what is that?

Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*

Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.

Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.

Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...

Are they just given a quick crash course?

Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.

A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'

Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.

When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?

When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.

And my driver's license got revoked too.

Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!

Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

What did the mom say to the twins?

"Go crash a plane!"

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.

How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?

Because Paul Walker crashed into it.