Crash Jokes

my friends mom died and he also died by a crash

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”

What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?

They always line up.

two persons were in a car the brakes were broken and they were so fast that they would crash and die. The driver said:" Oh no! we will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied:" Don't panic the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."

Your Dad Went To The shop to get milk came back went again but never came back due to a car crash due to a itchy rash

i joke about 9/11 cause if i did it would have a tendency to crash and burn.

"can we do 69" "how about we do the 9/11 since we will crash together."

Why did the towers fall? Becuase someone in call of duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but there family died

“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

I farted try me you farted oh no we all farted

The plane crashed but I did too on a pillow

I'd make a 9\11 joke, but they always crash and burn.

"Can we do 69?" "How about the 9/11 because were going to crash tonight."

Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the twin towers. But that's just my opinion.

When Stephen hawking died i assume his computer crash caused it

There were 5 people on an airplane. 1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world

The plane takes off, A good, solid 1 hour in, The pilot comes out and says "Ok guys, I have good news and bad news, Bad News is the plane is gonna crash, The good news is that I have 4 parachutes" The pilot says to his passengers, " Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes, People depend on me" Took a parachute and went out. The businessman stands up and says " Well I'm a businessman, I run companies" Took a parachute and went out The smartest person in the world stands up and says " I'm the smartest person in the world, No one is smarter than me" Took a parachute and went out Now the minister says to the school child " Well God has given me a good life, I want you to take the last parachute" and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says " Why are you smiling?!, We're about to die!!!!" and the school child says to the minister "Well actually not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn...

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I’m like an eggshell... broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I’m like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me...