Crash

Crash jokes

Plane

What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?

A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.

9/11

The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.

9/11 jokes

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

Dwarf

I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

9/11

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

Doctor

doctor: you need to eat healthy.

me: no.

doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.

me: oh my goodness.

doctor: in a plane crash.

me: that sounds unrelated.

doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!

Brother

Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

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  • Priest

    A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

    Wheelchair

    My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

    Bus Driver

    Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

    Body

    (Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. ๐Ÿ˜

    Car crash

    A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.

    The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"

    The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"

    The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."

    Yo mama

    Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.

    Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.

    Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.

    Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.

    Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.

    Kobe

    I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.

    Girlfriend

    You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.