Crash

Crash jokes

Car

    • I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

    A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

    I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

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    • Dwarf

    • I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"

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    • Wish

    • So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

    The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

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    • Blonde

    • There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.

    The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"

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    • Crash memes

    Orphan

    • The parents used to hit him.

    His parents got into a car crash and died.

    He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"

    Mama

    • Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

    Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.

    Reason

    • I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.

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    • Bus

    • What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?

    They always line up.

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    • Accident

    • One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

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