Crash

Crash jokes

Kamikaze

137 views ·

What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?

There is none, they both go up in flames.

Yo mama

297 views ·

Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.

Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.

Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.

Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.

Body

79 views ·

(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏

Wizard

179 views ·

A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.

"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.

"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."

The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."

The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"

"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.

"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"

Subway

11 views ·

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

Pilot

14 views ·

Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.

Passengers: *Clap*

Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.

Flight Attendant: And what is that?

Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*

Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---

Family

105 views ·

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

Helicopter

77 views ·

Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.

Mom

24 views ·

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

Car

41 views ·

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”