Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
Where did the moon go to space? To the moon!
One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."
The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."
The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Why did the cow steal an AK-47?
He was a mooslim.
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
what is the difference between a cow and me
nothing
What is a meatball without spaghetti? A cow.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow," I said.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow."
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
What's a cow's favorite war?
World War Moo.
What did the cow tell an indian?
Moo!
