Cow jokes
What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud!
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
Meow.
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
What do you call a bad bull?
A bully.
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.