Cow jokes
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why did the cow steal an AK-47?
He was a mooslim.
A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"
Teacher: What does a cow say?
Susie: Moo.
Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?
Jimmy: The duck goes quack.
Teacher: Now what does a pig say?
Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
What did the cow say to the farmer? Moo away!
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Where do you get milk from? The Milky Way, of course!
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Biggest chungus to the rescue, fat bitches!
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
What did one angry cow say to another?
We got some beef.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.