Cow jokes
The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.
What did the cow say to the pigs, "MOOOVE!"
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
What's the difference between a cow and a pig?
One is a pig.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"
Why are theaters popular among cows?
They enjoy watching moovies.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Like if you blow male cows?
Where do alien cows come from?
- The Milky Way.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
My sis a fat cow.