A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other "What do you think about that mad cow disease". The other replies "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole.".
One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."
The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."
The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
What is a cow's favorite class in school?
Moosic.
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
Hahahahahahah I'm dying.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
