Consumerism jokes
There is a twist with being an orphan: every bag of chips is family sized.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
Gan cube prices?
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.