I know I'm valuable.
I come with a barcode.
Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
Abortion is not murder; it's canceling a pre-order.
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
Abortion is not murder, it's just canceling your preorder.
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
Gan cube prices?
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
