Consumerism jokes

I got a PS5 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.

What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?

They both have barcodes.

Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.

... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.

I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.

I know I'm valuable.

I come with a barcode.

Where do you buy a dishwasher?

Hot singles in your area.

I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁

Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?

I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?

The thing I don't like about shopping centers...

When you see one, you've seen a mall.

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?