Consumerism jokes
Why did the orphan get an iPhone 14 for his birthday? Because it has no home button.
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!
Q: Why did the orphan buy an iPhone X?
A: Because it has no home button.
How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
What’s long and black?
The line at KFC.
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
I'm worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
Why do orphans only buy iPhone XS?
Because it has a home button.