Consumerism Jokes

Pacman

The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

Pea

What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?

They both have barcodes.

Memes

Velcro

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

Donut

Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

Life

I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

Lesbian

Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.

... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.

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  • Time

    Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.

    Chocolate

    What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

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  • People

    The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁

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  • Trade

    Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.

    Hooker

    What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?

    I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

    Curry

    Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?

    Pocket

    I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?

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