Comparison jokes

What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?

Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.

My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.

My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."

Your forehead is so big, it's bigger than a school!

Yo forehead is bigger than the Great Wall of China!

If I found BlessedBrian's jokes FUNNY, I would be just as retarded as HIM.

"Rapeboat" so fat it made yo momma look thin.

What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?

I don't know, what?

They are both purple except for the elephant.

Yo forehead so big you look like Aeri.

Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?

Yo mama so fat, she made Fat Albert jealous!

What's the difference between a rock and a woman?

The flat ones get skipped.

What is the difference between a human and human rights, and a tree tree, and a house that has to?

Why does Job have an Area 51 head? Because his head is the shape of a 🦖.

What does a pickle look like a p*nis?

If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!

What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?

A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.

What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

What is the difference between you and Iron Man? You have a wonky hairline.

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

Your forehead is built like the Indian flag.