Comparison jokes

If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!

What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?

A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.

What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Your forehead is built like the Indian flag.

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

What is the difference between you and Iron Man? You have a wonky hairline.

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."

My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

You are so cat.

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.

What does Biden do? He does you.

What does do something useful unlike you?

You're as tall as a giraffe.

Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!

Yo mama jokes are so old, like your mom.

The only thing longer than the Great Wall of China is your hairline.

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.

Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!

Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!