Comparison jokes

Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.

The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.

What's the difference between school and Hell?

There is no difference.

I got jealous when my phone died.

If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!

Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?

One is beautiful.

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.

From the makers of Mangeone...

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Sean's hairline recedes faster than my grades.

What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?

One's a good year and one's a great year.

Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!