Comparison jokes

What's the difference between school and Hell?

There is no difference.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was a brick wall.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.

I got jealous when my phone died.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?

One is beautiful.

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.

AOT > ur fav anime.

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.

From the makers of Mangeone...

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

God made me pretty, what happened to you?

What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?

One's a good year and one's a great year.