Comparison jokes
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Bro, your head is so big that it shines so bright, it turns into a lightbulb.
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
Your hairline is so far back Trump was ashamed.
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
Your forehead is so big, it's bigger than a school!