Comparison jokes

Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

AOT > ur fav anime.

What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?

Usain Bolt finished the races.

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was a brick wall.

Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.

The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.

What's the difference between school and Hell?

There is no difference.

I got jealous when my phone died.

If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!

Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?

One is beautiful.

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.