Comparison jokes

You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

I've seen more depth in a kiddie pool than in BLESSEDBRIAN’s jokes.

I’d say Leo is as sharp as a marble, but that would be an insult to marbles.

What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.

I would call Slade dense, but that would be an insult to rocks.

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was a brick wall.

Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.

I got jealous when my phone died.

"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!

Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.