Comparison jokes

What's the difference between family and cats...

Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.

What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.

What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?

Several hundred calories.

Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.

Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

Girls: 🙏 *Period* ✍️💅

Men: 🗿 *Growth* 🗿🗿🗿

What's the difference between me and my best friends?

At least one of us has a house.

I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.

Why is Ronnie Anne like Lincoln? Because he is a softy about everything.

Erin like TJ, but his tapeline said no.

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.

What do clothes and emo kids have in common?

They both get hung.

Which is better looking, girls or women?

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.