Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?
Comparison Jokes
Why is Ronnie Anne like Lincoln? Because he is a softy about everything.
Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.
Which is better looking, girls or women?
Girls: π *Period* βοΈπ
Men: πΏ *Growth* πΏπΏπΏ
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought Shrek was ugly, until I saw you.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
