Comparison jokes

Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.

Erin like TJ, but his tapeline said no.

Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

What do clothes and emo kids have in common?

They both get hung.

Why is Ronnie Anne like Lincoln? Because he is a softy about everything.

Which is better looking, girls or women?

Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*

What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?

One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.

What's the difference between me and my best friends?

At least one of us has a house.

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.

I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.

Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.

Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!