Comparison jokes

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.

Erin like TJ, but his tapeline said no.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.

What do clothes and emo kids have in common?

They both get hung.

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

What's the difference between me and my best friends?

At least one of us has a house.

What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?

One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.

Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

Why is Ronnie Anne like Lincoln? Because he is a softy about everything.

Which is better looking, girls or women?

Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*

I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought Shrek was ugly, until I saw you.

What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.