Comparison jokes
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.
Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Memes
Which is better looking, girls or women?
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
Why is Ronnie Anne like Lincoln? Because he is a softy about everything.
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!
Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.
Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.
Erin like TJ, but his tapeline said no.
Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.
Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.