Comparison jokes
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Yo, your hairline over here lookin' like the Nile River.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.