Comparison jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Your hairline is so long they mistake your forehead for a football field.
Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.
Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?
McDonald's has a drive-thru.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Your hairline be looking like the Great Recession.
Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!
LMAO
Your hairline is so far back Trump was ashamed.
Your hairline goes back to when Jeff Bezos had hair.