Comparison jokes
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.
You're so ugly, even Smara gets jealous.
What do math and me on P-hub have in common?
They are both hard.
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
What is the difference between a car and a tree?
A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.
What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese!
What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?
The average IQ increases in both places.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
What is a difference between a tree and a car? A car 🚙 can drive and [a] tree 🌲 can not drive.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
How are apples and orphans different?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner? You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.