Comparison jokes

What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.

Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.

Your hair line is curved like a moving train.

Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.

Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.

Cool people: I can do anything.

Normal people: I can do nothing.

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.

The cashew called the peanut boring.

The peanut felt very unsalted.

Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?

A: Because knives don't have barrels.

Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!

Why is emo grass better than normal grass?

Emo grass is gonna cut themself.

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

You're so ugly, your class searched up Godfrey Baguma and all called out your name!