Comparison jokes

Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.

Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.

What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One kneels for salvation.

The other kneels with salivation.

Luke looks like Big Chungus and Fat Sonic.

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One is glowing and the other is blowing.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?

The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

Your hair line is curved like a moving train.

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

You're so ugly, your class searched up Godfrey Baguma and all called out your name!

Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

Cool people: I can do anything.

Normal people: I can do nothing.

Life is like a penis. It is short.

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?