Comparison jokes
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?
None, because they both forget a lot.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What's the difference between me and you?
Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.