Comparison jokes
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
Memes
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
VVD [is] better than Sergio Ramos.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
Walking is just running with extra steps.
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(