Comparison jokes
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!
Memes
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
You're so ugly, your class searched up Godfrey Baguma and all called out your name!
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?
McDonald's has a drive-thru.
Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!
LMAO
Your hairline be looking like the Great Recession.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.