Comparison jokes

What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both got taken out by two jets.

What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?

One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.

The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.

Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.

Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.

Life is like a penis. It is short.

Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!

Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.

Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?

A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.

What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.