Comparison jokes

Why is emo grass better than normal grass?

Emo grass is gonna cut themself.

You're so ugly, your class searched up Godfrey Baguma and all called out your name!

I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.

What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?

You can beat an egg.

Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.

73 Earths can fit in Uranus.

What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?

McDonald's has a drive-thru.

Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.

What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?

About 40 mph.

Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!

LMAO

Your hairline be looking like the Great Recession.

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

Your hairline is so far back Trump was ashamed.

Your hairline goes back to when Jeff Bezos had hair.

Your hairline is so long they mistake your forehead for a football field.

What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?

I don’t have a life.

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.

The cashew called the peanut boring.

The peanut felt very unsalted.

Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?

A: Because knives don't have barrels.