Comparison jokes
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Memes
Why Bing is Superior tbh
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.
Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Roses are red, Velvet is blue, So are violets.
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
Basketballs are bigger than end.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.