Comparison jokes
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Memes
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0