Comparison jokes
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.