Comparison jokes
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.