Comparison jokes
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
What is a difference between a tree and a car? A car 🚙 can drive and [a] tree 🌲 can not drive.
Your hairline is farther back than the Mexican border.
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
What is the difference between a cow and me?
Nothing.
What is the difference between a woman and a knife?
The knife has a point.
What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.
What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?
The average IQ increases in both places.
What is the difference between a wheelchair and a walker?
Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.