Comparison jokes

My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.

Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.

Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.

I like my coffee like my women.

Amateur.

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.

Jokes are like Indians.

They never die, they just get reincarnated.

What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?

They are both legless.

The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.

Why is Hitler better than Biden?

Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.

What do sex and food have in common?

Grandma makes both better.

what do baby’s and grenades have in common?

They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)