Comparison jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
Memes
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.