Comparison jokes

What's the difference between an apple and emos?

They both hang on trees.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One of them gets picked.

What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?

The average IQ increases in both places.

My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.

What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.

Your hairline is farther back than the Mexican border.

Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"

Adolf Hitler + Vladimir Putin = Vladolf Putler.

What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?

The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.

Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?

Because 511472.

You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.

What's the difference between a baby and a brick?

A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.

What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.

What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!

People are like trees...

They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.

At least Stephen Hawking does something.

Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.

What number is better; 46 or 47?

I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.