Comparison jokes
Your forehead is built like the Indian flag.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.
Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.
Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.