Comparison jokes
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What is the difference between a car and a tree?
A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.
Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.