Comparison jokes
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.
Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.
Roses are red, Velvet is blue, So are violets.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.
When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."
Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.