Comparison jokes

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.

I got jealous when my phone died.

9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.

Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.

"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."

The cashew called the peanut boring.

The peanut felt very unsalted.

What's the difference between family and cats...

Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.

Your hairline is so big, it was used as a highway.

What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.

What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"

What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.

Ya forehead so big Sakura's forehead seemed small.

Bro, your forehead so big Dakota's forehead seemed small.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.

What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?

I've never sucked on dicks.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes time to put you under.

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)