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Comparison

Comparison jokes

Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.

What does a condom and a coffin have in common?

They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.

A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.