Comparison jokes
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.
Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
You look as fat as a pig.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
What is the difference between you and Iron Man? You have a wonky hairline.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.