What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?
The average IQ increases in both places.
what is the difference between you and my dad? nothing
What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?
They both cheated!
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
