Comparison

Comparison jokes

You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.

What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.

What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?

They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.

Uh!!!

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  • What's the difference between a child and a book?

    One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.

    A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."

    The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"

    What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?

    The average IQ increases in both places.

    Why does Job have an Area 51 head? Because his head is the shape of a 🦖.

    What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

    One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.