Comparison jokes
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex? An and Or!
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
You look like a burger.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?
When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang on trees.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.