Common jokes
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.