Comedy

Comedy jokes

Floor

I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3

Muffin

There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"

The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Memes

Shark

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

"This tastes a little funny."

Snail

A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.

When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

Shooter

I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.

Skeleton

- What did the skeleton say to his friend?

- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...

Pencil

Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.

Blender

Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?

Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?

Character

Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:

Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)

East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)

Jew...Rey (Ray)

Black...BB-8 (BBC)

Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)

German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)

Kid

What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.

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  • Dog

    Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."

    Ketchup

    Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Ketchup.

    Ketchup who?

    Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂