Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Boner.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
Why can't an orphan watch the movie:
It was family rated.
What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?
Arrrrrr-ceus!
Hi guys!
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
