Comedy jokes
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Why can't an orphan watch the movie:
It was family rated.
What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?
Arrrrrr-ceus!
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
Hi guys!